I started studying when i was 11 years old in 6th grade. i studied the God and Goddess in all Their forms in all religions. my parents always ingrained into me "Just bc its different doesn't mean its wrong."  a saying that has many uses and meanings.

I started Confirmation classes in the 7th grade at my church, Faith Luthern. I was a book with an open cover and i was eager to learn about God. i started to ask questions and gave opinions that my teachers didn't exactly enjoy or wanted to hear. i would get into trouble bc  my teachers would tell my German Luthern parents that i was acting up and distracting the class. it got so bad one time that my paster came into the class to have to "calm" me down and "make sure" i didnt disrupt the class again. i was sent away from my class once by my teacher too, not to return until i "learned how to behave". i went and sat outside crying. i didn't understand why my thoughts about things were so wrong to these ppl. i was just giving my opinion. in this time of greif, was when i met my future Mentor,though i didn't know at the time.

She was a member of my church's counsil and a very loved figure in the church. she sat down next to me and asked why i was outside and not in class. thinking i couldn't POSSIBLY get into anymore trouble then i already was, especially when my parents found out, i told her, through my hiccuping cries, that i was sent from the class, cast out, until i learned how to behave like a good little christian child should. she hugged me then and whispered something i'll never forget "well, child, maybe your heart and mind aren't christian at all. maybe you see things differently then the rest, further." i was stunned, starting to panic. i blurted out, i had to be, HAD to be christian there was no other religion. its either that or i go to hell! she smiled and chuckled to herself, something that i learned she knew something i didnt. she said that she will talk to my parents and help me through my confirmation. she told me to go back to class and keep silent. and i did, not realizing i just had my first Wiccan lesson.

My Mentor was a childless elderly widow, so she asked my parents if after school for a couple of hours or between music practices if i could go to her home and help with yard work and cleaning around the house. of course my parents said yes, probably thinking that if anyone could straigten me out its her. and it was then that i had my lessons, she taught me about Wicca and all its various religions until we found the right one for ME. i didn't have to conform to any one in perticular but i chose to follow my own path to the Divine. I read and studied under her watchful caring eyes. she explained to me that, in church, i can learn about God. but in her house i can also learn about the Goddess. she showed me how to manifest energy to do my will, how not to trust everything i read but to ALWAYS trust my heart. she taught me everything i was willing to learn. she never pressured me but guided me on my path. she never used fear to teach only deep understanding. she answered my questions unflinchingly and then started asking me more questions until my head spun! i studied with her until the middle of 11th grade, when she fell ill from cancer and passed on to be reborn. her funeral service was small but at least 50 ppl came to the burial. i recognized some from the church but most were a little older then me. she didnt leave any family no grandchildren or the like behind so i had to assume, to beleive, that they were others that she has helped, like me. i still felt lonly and consumed by sorrow. all of us were solitary like she was.

I want to keep learning. to keep growing. i owe it to my Mentor. in her memory i will also help others to become the best person that they can be, bc you see, that is what she did for me.

Lady Maeve Fionnlagh Dagda